My husband, John, takes a trip to Colorado every October to hunt antelope on his father's ranch. The ranch consists of thousands upon thousands of secluded acreage for his cattle to graze upon. Some consider this to be heaven, just a vast stretch of miles from all four sides, where the sky touches the earth.. a country view off of a large front porch with a good cup of coffee in hand... Now, Anyone who knows me understands that I am not an outdoorsy kind of girl... not even a little. Although, I can appreciate the ranch, my view is a somewhat different.. With no TV, no cell phone, no civilization, rattlesnakes galore and freezing temperatures, I had decided last year that I would no longer follow him on this hunting adventures.
My viewpoint has since then changed. John and I have been hit with many roadblocks this year...some heavy burdens, others great blessings. During this, we decided to "recommit" our marriage to each other... To put as much effort into the other person as we possibly could. We will no longer make selfish decisions but always think about each other first. So far, we are the happiest we have ever been. No longer thinking selfishly in my marriage has had a ripple effect into my other relationships. I now try to put my other family members first, my children's desires come before my own, and my job has my complete attention when I'm working... and I have to say... It feels wonderful.
So I loaded up our two boys, Michael who is 4, and Luke who's 3 months old and followed John back to the ranch. Currently, I'm freezing, and not moving from the same spot in the middle of the living room, due to a tarantula that is lost in the house. But I'm here... Why? Because it is important to him... Now living a selfless life is not easy. You naturally want to look out for yourself and your own desires... but it gets easier and easier with each day. You eventually start to enjoy putting others first and yourself last.
This new way of life we have decided to live made me start thinking. How much effort have I given in my relationship to God? I've always been faithful to attend church, I've always prayed and read my bible... but have I given my relationship to God the same unselfish attention? Seems to me, my time with God was always decided by when it was convenient for me. Today's been a long day, he doesn't mind if I skip my devotional, he knows I'm busy... or, I'm too tired tonight to pray, I'll just go straight to bed. So I have decided to re-commit my marriage to God. Not, my salvation mind you.. but my marriage.. My relationship with God is not a one way street of him answering my prayers (when it's convenient for me to talk to him) No, it's a two way street, where I must make the effort to meet him... But you see, God is always available to me no matter the time or day.
I now wake up 45 minutes earlier to read my devotional and spend alone time with God. I pray without ceasing all day long, and I keep God first in every decision I make. Just as every self-less act, it was difficult at first. I was tired, especially with a newborn in the house.. but I began looking forward to my morning alone with God... a quiet house with my bible and a cup of coffee. I started learning that these selfless acts really weren't so selfless after all, I seem to be the one benefiting from them. And the trip to Colorado? Well I'm spending an amazing week with my angel boys and my beautiful husband, away from work, away from troubles, and away from cares. Now if only we could find that spider :)